there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
