Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
