That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
