her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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