im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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