So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Randomize
