i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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