Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
