Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
