rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
