According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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