the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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