sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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