You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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