Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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