Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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