You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize