wat bout pragnant strippers??
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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