all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
