it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
