People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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