recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
whose ass print is on the piano?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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