so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
