Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
