We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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