Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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