he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
