Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
