i already hear my dad disowning me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Randomize