the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
