FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
