How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
