does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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