By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
