we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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