ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You made out with two different species that night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
