two words...techno handjob
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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