I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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