Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
