areolas are like halos for boobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
