Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
