just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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