I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
