Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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