i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
