I showed him my bush... on skype.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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