when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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