Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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