its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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