I wanna bring you to show and tell
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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