She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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