that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
