Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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