After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
