i would punch a child for taco bell
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
