How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Randomize
