i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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