it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize