The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
