whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I bet he comes in French.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
