i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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